Thankfulness and breathing

(Until I can think of good pseudonyms for my husband and daughter, they will be referred to as "H" and "D" respectively.)


 So H and I have this electronic device for D that senses movement (i.e. breathing) which is currently residing under her mattress.  We have had this device pretty much since she was born.  Maybe there was a week or so she was alive before we received it as a gift.  Fine.  So, this device...  it really eases our minds.  It is just so nice knowing that we do not have to get up and check on her every 45 seconds to see if she is still breathing.  We have been sleeping (fairly) well ever since.


The premise is this:  If the device does not sense movement (i.e. breaths) for 15 consecutive seconds, a warning beep sounds.  If after five more seconds of no movement (breaths), an alarm sounds.  Well.  Last night the warning beep went off.  Not really a HUGE deal as it has gone off before, but we raced into D's room nonetheless.  We poked our heads into her crib just as the ALARM starts to sound.  This really freaked us out because the alarm has never gone off before.  Usually, what happens is the warning beep sounds then within five seconds D takes a breath, so the alarm never gets a chance to sound.  That did not happen this time.  This time, I had to shake her to take a breath.  Needless to say, this disturbed H and me greatly.  And then it happened again, and AGAIN.  Not the alarm sounding, just the warning beep, but still.  For Pete's sake, D, what is going on?!  I never really understood what parents were talking about when they would say they would stay awake and just watch their children breathe.  I now know.  We just stood there last night, both of us, watching her breathe, for a long time.  It was about 3:30 a.m.  I don't think I got back to sleep until 4:30 or 5:00 a.m.  I just kept *waiting* for that warning beep again.  Same with H.  It did not, thank God.  But then it happened again this morning at around 7:30 a.m.  Alarm and all.  Okay!  Enough "sleeping" for everyone - time to get up.  Good grief.


I am so thankful that God prompted H's parents to buy this movement sensor for us.  I just wonder.  I mean, what would have happened if we did not have this device?  Would D have started breathing within a few seconds without us even knowing what was happening?  Or would we have become another SIDS statistic?  I just don't know.  I do know that I am so thankful to God for at least one more day with her.  I really do love her.


Aside:  We are not sure where we stand on the whole vaccination issue.  D was due for her 4-month shots this past week.  We decided to hold off right now for a few reasons.  She is teething and already pretty miserable.  I am not sure I am convinced vaccines are the very best thing since sliced bread, like everyone says.  I am so torn because on one hand, I do feel like if we can prevent disease, why not!  Let's do it!  But on the other hand, the diseases they are vaccinating for are basically eradicated here in the United States of America.  Also, they can cause brain damage.  Also, our bodies were designed to fight off disease and become stronger from it.  Also, SIDS has a higher rate of happening after shots.


D had her 2-month vaccines at her 2-month appointment and screamed, yes screamed, for an hour?  two?  three?  I forget.  Dr. Brushoff said before D received the shots that she would likely be cranky.  This was not cranky.  This was screaming which was unable to be soothed - not even with the boob.  And for my great eater, that was very concerning.  I have been reading about vaccines recently, and this reaction is not necessarily the norm, but it is definitely a noted side effect of the DTaP shot.  That just does not sit well with me.  How will she react next time?  We have no idea.  I will tell you this, though.  If we would have gotten her the 4-month shots, I would DEFINITELY be blaming what is happening now (very cranky, stopped breathing) on those shots.  I have to wonder if God is doing exactly what it is I am fearing to show me that those things would, or could, or do, happen anyway.


Today was the first day D responded to pee-a-boo with laughter.  That made all the worrying and lost sleep totally worth it.  She really is adorable.