Mad at the unknown

I am aggravated today for various reasons:  the state of our house; the amount of "stuff" we have accumulated; the fact that we were taking pictures to post for a rental site and they do not look inviting; my boss texted me today telling me my new days off were Sundays and Mondays; I am thankful for my job, but I don't want to work anymore; Oak needs a job, but I don't want him to work either; but they all point one thing:  I want us both to be home with Apricot.  I know everyone out there works away from home.  I know everyone's husband has a job outside of the house.  I know everyone makes a commute.  I know that.  But just because it is that way does that mean I have to like it?  And does it even have to be that way?  Isn't there SOMETHING we could do together and make money, all while staying at home to be with Apricot?  Anything?  At all?


I feel so torn because Oak did go on that interview the other day.  He has a very good chance of them calling him back.  But it's an hour away!  So that means he would be gone 12 hours a day - minimum.  That sucks.  I am only gone six hours that Apricot is awake, and that is not pleasant.  Twelve hours is going to be heartbreaking.  And every time I think about it I just feel so badly for him and us.  He's used to being home 24 hours, and we're just going to cut it in half.  I just don't like the idea of it at all.  There's got to be something we could do from home.

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That was yesterday.  Today my feelings about the pictures has changed a little because I found some old ones that look nice.  I also found pictures of the really cool sunsets we have had.

Also, reading that up there makes us sound like hoarders.  That is not the case.  I just have always wanted to be the kind of person who has a place for everything, and we have yet to achieve that.  We have things that don't really have a home.  Or they do have a home, but it's not a good one, and they still don't look like they belong, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, at this point I think I may just be ranting.  I have a book on my shelf that I still have not read called Be Satisfied.  I think I need to read it.

Time's a racin'...

So I have not blogged in nearly a month.  Has it really been that long?  So much has happened since then:

We just got done visiting with my dad.  He came down for a short weekend to drop off my littlest sister.  It was nice spending time with him.  He was much more interactive with Apricot this time around, and that was so special to see.

Speaking of Apricot, she now has six teeth.  SIX.  Four on the top (her middle ones finally came through!) and two on the bottom.  She weighs 17 pounds now, and is still the joy in our lives.  I did not think it was possible, but I might love her more every single day.  She also started army crawling!  It is so cute.  She really gets going.  Every day she gets a little more on her knees, but she is not quite there yet.

Same goes for Oak - I think I love him more every single day as well.  I started a new job a couple weeks ago, so he is now home with Apricot until around 2 p.m. every day except Wednesday and Sunday.  He packs my lunchbox, gathers my stuff, and just generally makes my life easier.  Daily.  He is such a blessing.  Also, he is loving (I think?) the time alone with Apricot, which is just awesome.  He is such a super daddy.  And she is just tickled with him.  They make my heart smile.

Oak is on the phone right now with a possible job interview.  I know he needs to work.  I am just a little torn in a lot of directions.  Him working would mean I would have to quit this newly acquired job.  That would kind of stink, only because I just started, and I am learning things, and I enjoy it.  But I know that ultimately we want me to stay home with Apricot, so it would be good.  It would also stink because probably his job would not come with great hours, meaning he would be away from home for the majority of the day.  It would also probably be a long commute.  I have been praying he would find a job that allows him to work from home (me too!) so that we could be home together.  I loved being home with him for all that time, and I know he did too.  We'll see.  We'll see what God has in store for us!

I am mourning four boys that I did not even know.  They were killed in a car crash on Saturday.  My sister was friends with them; they were in high school.  I do not think it was anything but losing control.  Four of the eight died.  I cannot imagine what she (my sister), the other kids at school, and especially those parents are going through right now.  My heart goes out to them.

I am also mourning my in-law's dog.  They put him down this morning because he was sick.  He had cancer, and it just kept getting worse.  He was not eating, and he just was not doing well.  I feel badly for them too.  He was not that old.

We are really considering moving...  In this market, we are thinking renting is a better idea than selling.  A friend of mine told me about this website that deals with rentals that allows access to only military personnel.  That is encouraging to us because we are a little leary of renting to just anyone.  We are hoping these people being in the military would make slightly more trustworthy.  Again:  We'll see what God has in store for us!

Oak is off the phone now.  Getting the scoop.