30 August 2011

Mad at the unknown

I am aggravated today for various reasons:  the state of our house; the amount of "stuff" we have accumulated; the fact that we were taking pictures to post for a rental site and they do not look inviting; my boss texted me today telling me my new days off were Sundays and Mondays; I am thankful for my job, but I don't want to work anymore; Oak needs a job, but I don't want him to work either; but they all point one thing:  I want us both to be home with Apricot.  I know everyone out there works away from home.  I know everyone's husband has a job outside of the house.  I know everyone makes a commute.  I know that.  But just because it is that way does that mean I have to like it?  And does it even have to be that way?  Isn't there SOMETHING we could do together and make money, all while staying at home to be with Apricot?  Anything?  At all?


I feel so torn because Oak did go on that interview the other day.  He has a very good chance of them calling him back.  But it's an hour away!  So that means he would be gone 12 hours a day - minimum.  That sucks.  I am only gone six hours that Apricot is awake, and that is not pleasant.  Twelve hours is going to be heartbreaking.  And every time I think about it I just feel so badly for him and us.  He's used to being home 24 hours, and we're just going to cut it in half.  I just don't like the idea of it at all.  There's got to be something we could do from home.


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That was yesterday.  Today my feelings about the pictures has changed a little because I found some old ones that look nice.  I also found pictures of the really cool sunsets we have had.
Also, reading that up there makes us sound like hoarders.  That is not the case.  I just have always wanted to be the kind of person who has a place for everything, and we have yet to achieve that.  We have things that don't really have a home.  Or they do have a home, but it's not a good one, and they still don't look like they belong, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, at this point I think I may just be ranting.  I have a book on my shelf that I still have not read called Be Satisfied.  I think I need to read it.

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